


guilt.

by tallboy_benny



Series: collapse and rebuild [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: :), Angst, Creeper Hybrid Sam | Awesamdude, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned Toby Smith | Tubbo, Mentions of Exile, Pandora's Vault Prison, Panic Attacks, Prisoner Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Cara | CaptainPuffy, Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), fun fact the google doc for this was titled “awesamdad but PAIN”, just in case you can’t see it:, kind of?, no one:, panic attack description, sam and puffy: time to adopt some children, so make of that what you will, stay safe :]
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29784234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tallboy_benny/pseuds/tallboy_benny
Summary: It’s entirely, eerily, still.After the constant ringing of the alarms, the quiet beachfront ambience is a jarring change. Sam sinks to his knees in the sand, leaning on his trident as he gasps for air. His armor is too heavy, too tight, the sun is beating down, he can’t breathe-A sob escapes him, frantic and exhausted and pained.‘What have I done?’
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Sam | Awesamdude, Cara | CaptainPuffy & Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit, Cara | CaptainPuffy & TommyInnit, Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit
Series: collapse and rebuild [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192298
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	guilt.

**Author's Note:**

> so uh. this is a lot more painful after tommy’s stream huh...

The silence is almost unbearable, until it isn’t anymore. 

Sam jolts up from his seat behind the security camera desk, his heart leaping into his throat as the telltale explosions of TNT burst with rapidfire release somewhere nearby. He immediately switches to the camera screen with a view of the entire cell- nothing’s cracked, or Prime forbid broken, but Dream stands nonchalant as ever as Tommy understandably freaks out. 

There’s no audio on the cameras unless he turns it on, designed for some sort of semblance of privacy, but seeing Tommy’s panic sends a cold chill down his spine as he realizes what he has to do. _Prime, please, I’m so sorry Tommy._

A heartbeat later as he’s running as fast as he can through the warden pathways, his comm blares to life. _“Sam! Saaam! SAM! SA-“_ More TNT rattles the building, echoing tinnily over the comm and cutting out Tommy’s voice.

Sam nearly trips into the wall, fighting back every protective urge in his body telling him to answer Tommy’s shouts. As a prison guest, Tommy’s comm had been temporarily coded to override any Do Not Disturb protocols, so he could speak to Sam at any moment without Sam actually having to answer the call. It was supposed to make his job easier.

Now it was making it infinite times harder. 

Sam grits his teeth, shoves his gas mask up, and keeps moving. 

There are three protocols that have to go into effect immediately: one, check for any cell structural damage; two, seal off the main cell and any access points; and three...lock down the entire rest of the prison.

_“Sam, I’m ready! I’m- I’m ready to leave! We’re done!”_

He almost feels nauseous.

Text scrolls across the inside display of his mask, lighting up over and over with each new incoming message.

_ <TommyInnit> sSAM _

_ <TommyInnit> SAM _

_ <TommyInnit> I WANT TO LEAVE _

_ <TommyInnit> I AM DONE HERE _

The prison shakes violently, blackstone dust raining from the ceiling as Sam stumbles his way down the long corridors. The prison-wide alarm is blaring, making his ears ring and his head throb alongside the explosions.

_“Sam, seriously!”_

Sam takes a deep, shuddering breath, steeling himself. He can’t bend the rules for Tommy, otherwise who knows what will happen? Tommy had signed the waiver, Sam tried to rationalize, he’d known about the possibility of something like this happening. The thought didn’t make him feel any better.

Neither does the second voice in the background of Tommy's shouts, a calm, almost amused voice that sends chills down his spine.

_“Sam’s not here, Tommy.” A soft laugh. “Sam’s not here.”_

The comm cuts out again as explosions roar like thunder.

He rounds the corner, coming out near the massive iron door. His stomach drops looking at the lever- one small bit of metal and wood between the right choice and the necessary choice. It’s with an ache in his chest and a whispered apology that he makes his decision.

The vault door shuts with a silent snap of judgement.

Sam’s not sure how long he stands there, but it isn’t until the next blast that he finally finds it within him to move. 

He reaches the main warden’s office in record time, flipping levers and pressing buttons on the control panel. Door after door in the prison seals shut, the warden’s pathways inaccessible by any other entrance other than here and Sam is the only one who knows the codes to get in. He seals the office behind him, exiting into the main entrance room, when his comm blinks and text appears on his vision again.

_ <TommyInnit> sam _

_ <TommyInnit> seriously _

_ <TommyInnit> let me out _

_ <TommyInnit> fr _

_ <TommyInnit> No capp _

It would almost be funny had it not been for the icy dread in the pit of his stomach.

_“...Sam?”_

Maybe it’s his guilt, maybe it’s the disbelief and _hurt_ in Tommy’s voice when there’s no reply, but Sam forces himself to choke back tears. He activates the Nether Portal with a shaking hand, and types out a message with the other.

_ <awesamdude> You’re going to have to hang tight Tommy. The prison is on lockdown. There has been a security issue. _

His chest aches again, with the weight of every reassurance and comfort he can’t say settling on him. It’s as vague and impersonal as he can be, but he knows if he shows even an ounce of emotion right now Dream will latch onto that like a moth to a lamp to use it against Tommy in some way. Sam can’t afford to hurt Tommy any more than he already has. 

_ <TommyInnit> WHAT?! _

_ <TommyInnit> WHAT?! _

_ <TommyInnit> WHAT?! _

_ <TommyInnit> WHAT?! _

_ <TommyInnit> VC RN _

_ <TommyInnit> VC RN _

_ <TommyInnit> SAM _

Sam breaks the Portal as soon as he exits, replacing parts of the obsidian with crying obsidian as fast as he can possibly go. The mining fatigue doesn’t affect him, thanks to a special potion he had created, so no one but him will be able to fix it. Tommy’s messages scroll across his field of vision, and he forces himself to blink them away even as his heart shatters into pieces.

Right now, he needs to get to the side of the prison- the sound of explosions had been heaviest there, and it was easier to trident up onto the roof that way than it was by the front entrance. He runs past Bad and Skeppy’s mansion, onto the strip of beachfront property he’d had Eret decorate. From here he can see- well, nothing. Sam comes to a hard stop, mind racing. There’s no damage to the prison. Everything is in place- no outside alarms have been tripped, no lights flashing from the guard towers, nothing.

It’s entirely, eerily, still.

After the constant ringing of the alarms, the quiet beachfront ambience is a jarring change. Sam sinks to his knees in the sand, leaning on his trident as he gasps for air. His armor is too heavy, too tight, the sun is beating down, he can’t _breathe-_

A sob escapes him, frantic and exhausted and pained.

_What have I_ done _?_

There’s a gentle pressure on his back suddenly, and he lurches back, trident up and ready in the split second it takes to recognize-

Puffy. 

Sam relaxes almost instantly, grip on the trident relaxing but not letting go. 

Puffy frowns slightly, leaning down to him. “Sam? What’s going on?” 

He goes to answer, but the words just won’t come out- it’s like they’re stuck in his throat, choking and cutting off his airways. His vision is beginning to go blurry on the edges, and out of nowhere his mask feels utterly suffocating. Sam tears it off, gasping for breath as Puffy’s voice fades in and out of the static buzzing in his ears. 

“—Sam—breathe—can I—shoulder—“ The few words that manage to cut through the static make enough sense that Sam is able to nod jerkily, static in his ears beginning to turn to faint hissing as his heartbeat picks up.

Distantly, hands settle on his shoulders and hold them tight. His hand that isn’t holding his trident scrambles around for a moment before it finds Puffy’s arm, and Sam grips deathly tight onto it like a lifeline. Puffy gently presses down on his shoulders, the pressure pushing him down slightly into the sand beneath him. 

For a creeper hybrid under stress, any sort of pressure right now would be a disaster. But it’s _Puffy_ , and somehow she’s managing to ground him safely. He shudders, trying to breath along with her quiet counting. 

“In for five, Sam, good. Hold it….now out for seven, ‘kay?” 

The hissing in his ears is beginning to dim, the risk of explosion lowering. For a while the only sounds are Puffy’s counting and his own stuttered breathing. 

At some point he must have closed his eyes, because as he finally opens them the sunlight is almost blinding. Sam grimaces, squinting, and Puffy feels around in the sand for a moment before handing the goggles of his gas mask back. “Here, put these back on. I don’t think the face mask should go back on yet though,” she advises, and he gives her a tiny nod as he does so.

The goggles reduce the blinding light to a manageable level, and Sam slowly unclenches his stiff fingers from their grip on Puffy’s arm. As if sensing his thoughts Puffy moves back slightly, but remains within arm’s length and fixes a concerned gaze on him.

“You back with me now?”

“...Yeah.” His voice is rough and hoarse, and breathing feels like sandpaper tearing at his throat, but at least he _can_ breathe.

Puffy frowns, reaching into a pouch she must use as her inventory space and pulling out a glass bottle of water. “I don’t have any healing potions on me, but this should help a little bit.”

Sam accepts the offered bottle gratefully, uncorking it and drinking. “Thanks.” He can feel Puffy’s questioning eyes on him, but she’s silent for now and he’s grateful for that. His hands still tremble faintly, and it takes him a moment to re-cork the bottle and vanish it into his own inventory space. He leans on his trident, pushing himself up to stand with it’s help. Puffy’s at his side in an instant but she steps back and doesn’t force him to accept her help when he waves her off. “I’m...I’m okay now.”

Puffy hesitates, then nods. “Okay. That’s good, Sam, but what’s going _on_? I was coming to ask how you were feeling since you came back to the prison so quick after the whole egg thing, which you really shouldn’t have but still- what happened?”

Sam looks down at the sand, not meeting her eyes. “There- There was an incident. In the prison.”

Puffy breathes in a sharp gasp, a hand over her mouth. “Tommy….he was- he was visiting today, wasn’t he?”

Sam’s silence is answer enough.

“Oh, Prime,” Puffy whispers, horror bleeding into her voice. “Is- He’s in the cell?” 

The mask in Sam’s hand crunches in his grip. “Yes,” he forces himself to say, his throat tightening again.

Puffy grabs his hand and squeezes, startling him. “Sam, I’m….I’m so sorry.” Her words seem to hold a much deeper meaning, and he’s struck by just how easily she’s picked up how much he cares for Tommy. 

“...Me too,” he says softly. “He’s...he’s just a kid, Puffy, he doesn’t- he doesn’t deserve this…”

“I know. But there’s nothing we can do.”

He can’t do this, he can’t break again because he’s the only one who can be strong. But he knows this is going to break Tommy, and then- “Oh, Prime.” Sam’s legs nearly give out underneath him, and Puffy grabs his arm in concern. 

“Sam!?”

He grips her arm tightly, the color draining from his face. “Puffy- do you know what happened to Tommy in exile?”

Puffy slowly shakes her head. “I have an idea, sorta, but...he won’t talk about it.”

“I don’t blame him,” Sam says grimly. “But Dream’s told me, and as much as I want to think it’s just him trying to get under my skin….something tells me it’s truer than I want to believe. It….It was _hell_ , Puffy. Literal hell. Dream _bragged_ about it too. He would blow up Tommy’s gear, then be the only one there to comfort Tommy and call himself Tommy’s only friend.

“He made sure he was the only person Tommy was ever in contact with and even sent away Ghostbur… He blew up Tommy’s entire fort and tent when he found Tommy’s secret resource stash, and he sounded _happy_ about it.” Sam shudders, Dream’s easygoing, casual tone while describing the literal _torture_ he’d put Tommy through would be etched in his brain forever. “Maybe not happy exactly, but...carefree. Like it had no effect on him. Like it was some kind of experiment but he didn’t care about the outcome either way.”

Puffy is utterly silent, a hand covering her mouth and tears dripping down her cheeks. Sam takes a deep, shaky breath. “And now…”

“They’re trapped together again,” Puffy finishes for him in horror. 

He nods, chest aching.

“Shit.” 

Sam looks back at the looming prison walls. “I don’t know what the hell to do, Puffy, I dont- I don’t know.” His voice cracks, desperation bleeding through. “I just don’t know.” 

She shakes her head slowly. “I...I don’t either, Sam, but I think the least we can do is be there for him when you let him out. We can stop Dream from hurting him more. How long-?”

“A week, max,” Sam answers, thinking back to the utter lack of damage he’d found. “Less, if there’s no internal damage to the systems. But no more than a week.”

Puffy blows out a breath, squeezing Sam’s hand tightly. “One week. We’ll make sure he comes out of this safe.”

Sam isn’t sure how long they stand like that, silently comforting each other, but eventually he lets go of her hand. “I need to check the roof quickly.”

She nods, waving him off. “Go. I’ll message you soon, I’m going to go to Snowchester.” At Sam’s confused look, Puffy elaborates. “Tubbo. He...He needs to know.”

Sam nods immediately. “Of course.”

“...” Puffy looks at the prison one last time. “These kids...they’ve been through so much,” she says softly, shaking her head before walking back towards the Prime Path. 

Sam watches her go, a pang of protectiveness making his chest hurt again. She’s right, after all- they’re just kids, clawing their way to the surface in a desperate clash with a god. Silently he wades into the beachfront water, tridenting up onto the prison’s roof. It’s perfectly intact, no cracks or blast damage he can see, but whether or not that’s frightening he really isn’t sure. At the very least, it means he can save Tommy sooner.

He’d sworn to protect Tommy, and even if he’d made that promise as Sam Nook, Sam was going to do everything in his power to honor his word.

**Author's Note:**

> how does a ch2/sequel based on tommy’s 3/1 stream sound? :)  
> hope you enjoyed, drop a comment if so!  
> \- em <3


End file.
